When I bought the team, I didn’t care to name it correctly (a list of the worst names in all of sports)

After several years of flipping through the channels and watching bad teams play a bad game of whatever, it’s come to my attention that there really are some poorly named PROFESSIONAL franchises out there.  Don’t get me wrong, for the fanbases of those teams certainly aren’t bad fans for supporting their local home town team, however you would think that at least any fan would want to be proud of what they are wearing on their hat, shirt, pants, or whatever else you can buy with your team’s logo on it.

That’s where we come to my list today, compiled of stupid team names in all of sports, covering all sports except for the NFL, because honestly with the exception sometimes of the Texans, which sometimes sound like a lazy drunk named the team, and other times sounds like an ingenious idea for a name, were left off the list. So now I present, with a lil research, and a lot of time, the list.

The MLB team

Florida Marlins and Panthers (NHL)

The state of Florida obviously has some sort of insecurity among their citizens considering half the professional teams within the state start with the state (I was going to suggest maybe they do it for a tax break…but they don’t even have state tax in Florida!) With all the cities and population they have in Florida, Tampa Bay, Jacksonville, Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, you should at least give them a reason to come to your games, and not give the whole state a reason to ignore you. Don’t get me wrong, Carolina has been known to do this too, but they don’t have the city roster Florida does. Believe me if we had the Illinois whatever, I wouldn’t go to any of their games either.

The NHL teams

Columbus Blue Jackets

Here’s the official explanation from a unnamed team official:

Yellow jackets are industrious and team oriented, which should strike fear into the hearts of our opponents, but we wanted to use blue jackets because Ohio had more soldiers in the Civil War than any other state, and some people call soldiers “blue jackets” (though not many), and after all two of the new NHL teams are in the south, and we want to emphasize we aren’t naming this after the Indian Blue Jacket because that’s not politically correct, although we decided to spell it like the Indian since bluejacket should be one word like yellowjacket.

Hmm….

Nashville Predators

Formed in 1998, the team came to existence almost by accident after the New Jersey Devils originally tried to move to Nashville in 1995, talks became reality, and the city began to construct an arena for their hopeful new team. However, those plans fell through, leaving Nashville and it’s citizens upset having constructed a new arena and not having a team to play in it. Then in 1997, expansion talks began with the NHL and soon proposals were on the table for names. Among the suggested were “Ice Tigers”, “Fury”, and “Attack” were selected among 75 purposed names. Craig Leipold, a Wisconsin businessman founding the new team, suggested the name “Predators” to be entered into a vote between the four. His name won…but why would he come up with that name you might ask? Well, apparently they found ‘part’ or a saber tooth tiger during a site dig for a local bank in Nashville in the early 70s. Guess it’s a good thing he used his imagination and didn’t come up with Dirt…although that would fit in with the music industry their better I’d imagine.

Dallas Stars

It’s always a shame when a team moves from one city to another, but we that here with the Dallas Stars. Originally, the Minnesota North Stars, moved to Dallas in 1993. One of the things that I’ve never quiet understood is why you would keep the name of your team, and just change the city…but that’s not even what happened here! The North Stars dropped the ‘North’ which was the best part of that name and just became the ‘Stars’. WTF? Why would you do that? Why not “Dallas Wranglers” or something that is a little more texasy? Why try to BRING TRADITION with you to a state that doesn’t even deserve a hockey team (but then again, I don’t’ think any team south of Tennessee Deserves a hockey club, but that’s me. Quiet possibly one of the great tragedies to ever hit the state of Minnesota.

The NBA teams

Toronto Raptors

Part of the great Canadian NBA push of 1995 (along with the Vancouver Grizzlies who in only 6 years realized Canada sucked and moved to Memphis) were the first NBA team based in Toronto since 1947 when the Toronto Huskies played before leaving the league the following year. So why the Raptors? Honestly, it was because of Jurassic Park. The dinosaur was popular in the movie and based on a vote, that was what became of the team. In recent years, Canadians have become angry with the name because of the fad relationship it was built on and sites such as torontohuskies.org have surfaced calling for a name change. Let this be a lesson to us all not to let fans vote for a team name, otherwise we could have had even more stupid team names, such as the New York Tomogotchis or the New Jersey Vampires. A chilling thought.

Los Angeles Lakers

Another team lost for Minnesotans, they left for Los Angeles in 1960 after being the Minneapolis Lakers for the prior 23 years (which makes since, land of 1,000 lakes, etc) This was a new name brought to the club after the ORIGINAL franchise, the Detroit Gems, moved from Detroit to Minneapolis in 1947, and they didn’t call themselves the “Minneapolis Gems” they were called “The Minneapolis Lakers” IE Land of 1,000 lakes, etc. It was an original idea and held the test of time. Who would have thought however that they would move to the land of 1,000,000lbs of pollution? Guess that makes you think twice about jumping in any lakes huh? Oh well.

Honorably Mentioned:

Charlotte Bobcats

Apparently the owner named the team after himself (his name is bob) bad karma all around.